It’s common to feel a sense of loss and grief when you lose a job. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been laid off due to lack of business, displaced because your job was outsourced, or let go because of a company merger, buy-out, or restructuring—the feelings can be crippling.
When this happens, you have two choices. Well, you actually have three, but wallowing in your sadness and righteous indignation doesn’t seem like much of a choice, so I will stick with having two choices.
Choice #1. Put on a brave face, search for a job, pretend you’re fine, and land a job as quickly as possible. Boom! Glad that’s over.
Choice #2. Give yourself a few days or weeks to grieve. Process the loss, what it means to you, and feel your feelings—all of them. Just be discerning in who (close family and friends only) and how (not on social media, please) you share your feelings.
The process might go something like this.
Stage 1, Shock: I can’t believe this is happening, OMG, what am I going to do, I’ll never find another job…
Stage 2, Anger: How can they do this to me, I’m one of their best employees, this company sucks, all they care about is money…
Stage 3, Blame: I should have seen this coming, if only I had worked harder, my leader should have warned me so I could have another job lined up, if the execs didn’t make so much money…
Stage 4, Depression: I’m overwhelmed, looking for a job is too hard, I have no idea where to start, I’m too old, there’s too much competition, I’ll have to sell my house…
Stage 5, Hope: Maybe this is an opportunity to find a better job, perhaps I’ll find an opportunity closer to home, what if this allows me to seek a new path, I didn’t like that position and my manager was toxic, this is just the push I needed…
Stage 6, Confidence: I’m a stellar employee, I have a proven skillset and track record, I have a robust network of professional contacts, I would be an excellent hire!
I recommend not rushing into a job search until you’ve worked through the first 4.5 stages. You might think you can hide how much you hate your former company, how bitter you are, and how you feel slighted. You might think you can put on a happy face and pretend you’re “fine.” Believe me, most of the time, you can’t pull it off.
Trust the process, work through the steps, and then tackle your job search. You will land in a much better place for your career and mental well-being.